Fru-Gal Friends

Subject: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 5:03 am

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/LearnToBudget/AreYouAfraidToLookPoor.aspx

I used to like this writer, but lately, her stuff is getting a bit crazy.
It's funny that she wrote this article, because when I was at the mall with my mom on Saturday, I thought about consumerism at it's highest.

Women whipping out their credit cards, dressed very nicely as if they were going out to a very nice restaurant. I am a people watcher - and I was just thinking the whole time: how much do these people owe?
Women were buying several cards at an expensive card store (I know they were expensive because my mom bought 2 of them: Paid $9 for 2 cards!).

My mom loves to browse. She's a browser.
While at Kohl's, she stopped at the jewelry section. She bought me a pair of earrings and necklace 2 Christmas' ago that she keeps telling me how much she loves the earrings. I told her she could have them, but no...she would not take them no matter how hard I tried. She found a pair of smaller ones and paid $68 - not even a hesitation in the world. Whipped out her Kohl's charge and it was done.

When we went to Kohl's she had about $100+ worth of clothing in the cart for me. For me, to spend $100 on clothes is just silly and pointless. There are so many other things I could use that $100 for.
I ended up talking her out of 3 or 4 items, and ended up with just 3 (dress pants, a sweater & a short sleeved shirt : all matching the dress pants). Though everything was on "sale," it was still more than I'd pay.
I kept thinking: I could get 6 of these at the thrift store!

My mother is not poor - in the least bit.
Her husband and her make six figures a year, living in a modest house.
However, they have more debt than they should.
Yet, they are always going on nice vacations, her husband is always buying her nice jewelry, they both have nice computers, clothes, etc. Every time we go out, mom wants to go shopping. I can go without buying a single thing - she has to bring something home for her husband, herself, and the dog.

I know, I'm rambling, but the next time you are at a mall...just look around you and watch people. It will amaze you.

~M
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"It is not how much money you make - it is how you spend it."

Moderator Age : 27 Joined : 12 Oct 2006 Posts : 1827

Hmmm.....interesting.

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 6:25 am

It's an interesting article.

I imagine a lot depends on where people live and who they associate with. Some people may have friends and colleagues who support them while, let's face it, there are people who look down their noses at others who 'obviously' struggle financially and shop thrift stores etc.

Appearances can be misleading though, on the flipside there are also people who look poor who certainly aren't.
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~ By sowing frugality we reap liberty, a golden harvest. --Agesilaus ~

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 7:04 am

I have seen this video before,,and agree with the lady but not sure about the article with it.I am hoping to make a video when we can get a new camera,about our home.We have done so so so much here to make it ours,,but we have done it on a budget.We pretty much do everything that lady has done on the video,,shop with coupons,thrift stores,second hand etc.I havent check dumpsters,but dont think I am above that, if I saw something I needed then I would nab it.
My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck,,,,but I feel to look at our home/lifestyle you wouldnt know it.We are very frugal and thrifty on so many things,but we do so we can take trips,spend on grandkids,etc.Its like that old saying,one hand washes the other.
I DO have shirts that say Old Navy on them,,and wear them anywhere,I am planning on buying tshirts from the thrift shop soon and make some tye dyed ones for this summer to wear .That was a interesting article M,,makes ya think.!

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 8:28 am

Very interesting article indeed!

I am sorry to say I have $11,500.00 (as of today) in credit card debt alone not including 2 vehicles or dh's credit cards. All this since we moved back to Maryland 5 years ago when we were totally debt free. I have to admit to charging items for our house, Christmas for the kids, gas and groceries. I used my credit to survive on and now I am paying for it. I am working on paying off cards and have already canceled almost all of them. Dh makes barely enough for us to pay rent, phone, cell phones, cable, internet, electricity, insurances and food. There is nothing left to play with for anything so when something comes up something else doesn't get paid. Needless to say in the past several months none of the creditors have been paid much (not even minimum). We live comfortably and could cut back more. Dh doesn't want to do without, the kids don't want to do without and well I really don't care. If it weren't for the kids things would be different. I don't want them to be ridiculed for not having what everyone else has. Does that make sense? Darin gets made fun of because his Redskin jersey he wears isn't real, he doesn't wear name brand shoes etc.. It is really hard for the kids now a days. Hopefully when I start homeschooling them things will be different. One day Darin said we were poor because I didn't have the money to go buy him a $50 playstation game he wanted. What is the society teaching our children. The two younger ones ask why do they have to share a room, why can't we buy a bigger house, etc.. I don't want a bigger house, I don't need a bigger house! I do not feel as though we are poor. We lack for nothing and we have way too much stuff! How could anyone possibly think we are poor. I mean we have 2 computers and 2 laptops in our home, 4 cell phones, 6 tvs I mean really!!!!! I do wear Walmart/Kmart clothes and so do my children. I do shop high priced stores but only for great deals! I do use coupons when it is cheaper to do so! What is wrong with the world! Sorry to keep going on but this really gets to me!
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Vicki

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Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 8:53 am

I don't have to go to a mall. All I have to do is listen to my husband's family. All designer clothing, driving the "in" kind of vehicle, everything has to be perfect, perfect, perfect.

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 9:10 am

Vicki,

I consider myself cheap (yes, cheap, not even just frugal), but have more credit card debt than what you have right now. Most is due to the new house. I had less than $6,000 left to pay off before we bought the house - which easily could have been done within a year.

But, the stuff we bought for the house is not extravagent.
None of what is on the credit card balance is groceries or vacations, or gas. It is roofs, tree trimming, things needed for the inspections, etc. Luckily, they are at 5.99% until the life of the balance is paid off, which is the same amount as our Mortgage.

I know we're not poor, but we are broke.
Very tight on the budget. So much so that I found a paper route in the area listed in the local paper : I am going to call to see if it is still available. Even though I'm working OT right now, we are still in a pinch. In all fairness, it is no one else's fault but my own. We rushed into buying this "Great Deal" and it is draining us. It is still a great deal on the house we got, but it is just draining us right now with the two mortgages.

Todd and I had a heart-to-heart yesterday on the drive home about our finances. I know that with his support and my working OT, and any other side job I can, we will make it through this tough time.

My fear is that due to all of this stress, I will have another stroke. I firmly believe that the stress of having two jobs several years ago (H&R Block & my current job) put me over the edge and helped to contribute to the stroke.

All I can do right now is watch what we spend, and do the best I can at paying things off...slowly but surely. And try to rent out the Akron house.

~M
_________________
"It is not how much money you make - it is how you spend it."

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 9:13 am

Vicki, I can appreciate everything you're saying, being the mother of a teenager.
Luckily my son has never wanted name-brands and to my knowledge he has not been teased, or at least he hasn't told me so. The sad fact is that kids do get bullied/teased over stupid things like this and parents feel pressured.
My son has teased me sometimes when I've bought him clothing on sale, remarking it's nice to know how much value I place on him (on occasion I wonder if he is only joking and that hurts a little). I tell him he should be thankful I have spent any money at all on him, he is well taken care of. Time will teach him a thing or two about stretching his income when he has bills and responsibilities of his own. Sometimes I think today's kids don't fully realize or appreciate how much more comfortable they are compared to their parents and grandparents. Standards of living have changed and so have attitudes.

It is good that you are working on the credit card debts and cancelling some. It would be easier if your DH and the kids supported you more in trying to get on top of those debts especially as you've said you could cut back a bit. You certainly don't want it to get further out of your control. I hope and pray you can work something out.
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~ By sowing frugality we reap liberty, a golden harvest. --Agesilaus ~

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 9:20 am

M, I really feel for your situation as we've been in the position of having two mortgages. Did you put the Akron house on the market for sale yet or did you decide to keep it and rent it out?
If you could sell it at a profit, even small, it would be very beneficial to put towards other outstanding debts and relieve a lot of monetary stress.
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~ By sowing frugality we reap liberty, a golden harvest. --Agesilaus ~

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 9:48 am

I went back to re-read the article as I'd missed the video mentioned but I had seen it before. Then I found this link which really interested me:

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/FindDealsOnline/CouldYouStopSpendingForAMonth.aspx

I'd really love to try this, apart from grocery and petrol/gas expenses, would anyone else care to?
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~ By sowing frugality we reap liberty, a golden harvest. --Agesilaus ~

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 10:20 am

Vicki,this is just my opinion,,so if I upset you or anyone I apologize,,but based on what you have typed out,,I feel that your remark about"I dont really care" isnt a true one.I think you do care or you wouldnt come to this site,,you wouldnt have created this site,,you wouldnt contribute to this site and postings.I can so completley understand the situation your in BUT...when you are the only one trying to get ahead of it all,,and the husband and children arent really behind you on your efforts then it makes it 10 times harder.I have complete faith in you,,so many times I have come to this site and wished we all were closer to communicate in person and not online,,but as God see it,,he has us all here as friends for a reason!
You need to be the example to your family,,this will hopefully show the husband,,theres more to life than material things.You are the example to the kids,,the spending in debt all the time is something they learn from us.Maybe if you try things on a smaller scale its not so overwhelming.Such as cuttting up the card,,,,EXCELLENT thing to do...you stopped the problem at the source! GOOD JOB!
Paying on them is rewarding,,a weight offf your shoulders.
Let the kids and husband see you stop what your doing and go turn a light out or put on a sweater instead of turning the heat up,,and say outloud,,,Im trying to keep the bills down,,this way we can buy Darin his name brand shoes,,or Rachaels designer purse(or what ever it is she likes,,,thats just a example).
Let the kids HEAR and SEE how you are trying.Mike and I live our lives paycheck to paycheck and are very happy.We are so so frugal in so so many ways,,but you wouldnt know it by the gifts we buy for grandkids or my sons,,you wouldnt know it by looking at our home.We know what we can and cant do.I would make food from scratch or cook at home alot more than buying out,,as a way of saving money for those extras.

Sorry to be so long,,but you just really sounded stressed in your last posting ,,just remember,,you are the example to the hubby and kids..you are a inspiration to so many..none of us would be friends here today if it wasnt for you!

Subject: Re: Article: Are You Affraid To Look Poor? Mon 24 Mar 2008, 11:28 am

we are blessed we have no debt . Frank works 70 to 80 a week because business demands it . I do not work we have several computers lap tops and we dont have to have everythng ..
we are normal my kids know Daddy and I have some money they know that we have a larder full and they are safe .

they know I am gong to have a coupons and that I shop the sale
they know I am Mom and I do this
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Gayla

"They take great pride in making their dinner cost much; I take my pride in making my dinner cost so little."

---Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Moderator Age : 27 Joined : 12 Oct 2006 Posts : 1827

I can say that I don't think too much about this! We are frugal out of neccesity and I know we are frugal even when we have some extra money. My kids don't care about the latest things and don't know about most of them! They are homeschooled so that helps, but we don't have cable, or dish...so they don't see tv adds...Rob is happy to be frugal and the kids try to buy toys that are on sale. We have a beautiful house and 2 older cars..but no pymts...we have less that $1,000 on the CC and that we are paying on. I sometimes feel like I wish I was more fashionable, but not often. Life is too short to worry about all that stuff....you can't take it with ys when ya go!
Vicki...I feel for you and hope that your family will see your way as right!
M...hang in there!